As Michael Jordan once famously said....I'm back.
What better way to kick off the 2012 blogging season than with a mini-mailbag? And I'll steal, and slightly alter, a gimmick from Bill Simmons.
As always, these are not actual e-mails because I have no actual readers...
Q: Where the F**K have you been?!?!?!
- The 10 people who actually read this blog, Anywhere, USA
A: Great question. I have no excuses.
Q: It's now 2012 and since we haven't had a new blog post from you in over 2 months, can we get some predictions for the 2012 year?
- Jeremy Lin, New York, NY
A: I actually meant to write a blog post on 2012 predictions that I could then come back to in January of next year to see how I did...but yeah, no excuses. Instead, I'll tackle the topic by making predictions for each remaining month in 2012. February - Tiger Woods will win the Accenture Match Play event that starts tomorrow and ends on Sunday, February 26, 2012. March - I will swear that I'm not going to run my annual March Madness pool because I kind of lost interest last year once I moved it to Yahoo and let the interwebs do all the scoring, but then I'll cave at the last minute. Also, Peyton Manning will be released by the Indianapolis Colts, then sign a massive contract with the Washington Redskins. April - Tiger Woods won't win the Masters which will ruin my April 8, 2012 weekend and the Detroit Tigers will be a .500 team at the end of the month before catching fire in May. May - a horse named "Linsanity" will win the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, but fall short in its bid for the Triple Crown thanks to a horse named "Melo-Yellow". June - the Detroit Red Wings will win the Stanley Cup and the Miami Heat will win the NBA championsip. Also, the city of Cleveland will light itself on fire. July - there will be a bomb threat/terrorism scare prior to the start of the 2012 Summer Olympics and Tiger Woods will win the 2012 Open Championship. August - the Washington Nationals will be leading the National League East and Kevin Lawlor will laugh during his vows. September - Peyton Manning will re-injure his neck after playing in only 2 games and will miss the rest of the season; Redskins fans will burn down Daniel Snyder's house. October - the New York Yankees will beat the Arizona Diamondbacks in the World Series and the NBA will start without anyone noticing. November - the surprise team in the NFL will be the Seattle Seahawks, who will be leading the NFC West. December - the World will end.
Q: Is there anything more annoying than how crowded the gym is during January and February every year?
- Meat Head, Venice Beach, CA
A: No. When I eventually do my "Pet Peeves" blog post, this will be at or near the top. In September, I can go to the gym, get on any treadmill I want and use any free weights/machine I want without a wait. Now, I have to park 3,000 miles away and ride a damn stationary bike while waiting for a treadmill to open up. Thankfully, February is almost over and the New Years' Crew is about ready to return to the couch.
Q: I know that February is basically the worst month of the year for sports, but you have to admit, it is a pretty good time of the year for quality TV.
- David Milch, Deadwood, SD
A: Great point. There is a lot of quality TV on right now, with more to come in the next couple of months when Mad Men and Game of Thrones come back in April. A quick rundown of some quality shows on TV right now. Mondays - "Alcatraz" on FOX is a pretty solid show so far. Tuesdays - FOX's "New Girl" has really grown on me and I would say is the best new comedy series of the past few years. And I have been DVRing "The River" on ABC, though I still haven't watched an episode yet. Wednesdays - I am still a sucker for "American Idol" on FOX, and this season has been pretty good so far. Also, ABC's "Modern Family" and "Suburgatory" are still staples on my DVR. Thursdays - the NBC comedy lineup is always solid, they just need to get the right mix. It should always be "30 Rock", "Parks and Recreation", "The Office" and "Community" in some order. I am really enjoying CBS' "Person of Interest" as well. Fridays and Saturdays are awful for TV and I typically either watch sports or my friends get drunk. Sundays - as always, the best TV night of the week. I got hooked on Showtime's "Shameless" recently - probably one of my favorite shows right now. "Pan Am" just ended its season on ABC and I have a feeling it won't be back. "Luck" just started on HBO and as with all HBO shows, I think you need to give it a few episodes before it really gets going. But it seems very promising thus far. And I continue to DVR "House of Lies" on Showtime, though I've only seen 2 episodes. All in all, a good lineup of shows.
Q: Will we be getting regular blog posts from you in the future, or will this be like the last time you were "back", meaning you will post two or three blogs and then go dark for another two months?
- Jarry Lameson, Mechanicsburg, PA
A: Only time will tell...