Friday, December 2, 2011

Fantasy Football: Playoffs?! You kidding me, Playoffs?!

It's almost fantasy football playoff time!  One of my early posts on this blog was a run down of the teams in my longest running league, Daddy Daycare.  It's about time we check in on that league and see where everyone stands.  There are 2 more regular season weeks and then playoffs.  The top 4 teams in the league make the playoffs.  The tie-breaker is total points scored.


1.  Start Talkin DYNASTY (10-2) (1386.45pts)
2.  Colin (8-4) (1209.07pts)
3.  Bo Knows...WINNING!! (7-5) (1222.81pts)
4.  Touch Me N' I'll Suh (7-5) (1197.58pts)
5.  Ze Pipes Ze Pipes (6-6) (1235.70pts)
6.  Shots of Lame-O (6-6) (1218.28pts)
7.  300 lb. Club (5-7) (1160.06)
8.  Multiple Scoregasms (5-7) (1068.79)
9.  MIKE!!!DYKE!!! (4-8) (1110.24)
10.  REX-N-EFFECT (2-10) (1060.59)

Start Talkin DYNASTY (Brad Duppstadt) - Playoff Chances:  100%.  Team MVP:  Calvin Johnson.  Brad's team is a juggernaut and has already clinched a playoff spot.  Perhaps he was right in predicting a dynasty after all.  Nevertheless, Brad is still a dork.  Problem is, he'll never read this because he doesn't have Facebook or Twitter and only uses the Internet to shop for watches, Muscle Milk and almonds.

Colin (Colin Donlevy) - Playoff Chances:  80%.  Team MVP:  Victor Cruz.  Colin hasn't clinched a spot yet, but as the only 8-4 team, you have to like his chances.  If he wins this week, he clinches.  Colin has the annoying habit of changing his team name every week.  I find that tactic about as funny as he finds this blog.

Bo Knows...WINNING!! (Jesse Neumyer) - Playoff Chances:  70%.  Team MVP:  Cam Newton.  What a free agent pickup Cam Newton was!  Dude is a legit top 5 fantasy QB when many thought he'd be a complete bust.  Jesse has a tough finishing schedule, playing Shots of Lame-O this week and Ze Pipes Ze Pipes next week.  A win this week puts him in the driver's seat.  A loss and he can focus on his second job volunteering at The Second Mile.

Touch Me N' I'll Suh (Dan Jameson) - Playoff Chances:  70%.  Team MVP:  Arian Foster.  Foster has carried me all season, especially early in the year when Chris Johnson was CJ.5K and Antonio Gates nursed his bruised vagina foot.  I would put my chances lower than Jesse since I have less points, but I play REX-N-EFFECT this week.  If I don't win...well, if I don't win don't expect another blog post for about 2-3 months.

Ze Pipes Ze Pipes (Dan Walsh) - Playoff Chances:  56%.  Team MVP:  Aaron Rodgers (with Rob Gronkowski a close 2nd).  Talk about a 2-man show!  Walsh's team wins because of Aaron Rodgers and the Gronk.  He has an uphill battle since he's a game out of 4th, but with the 2nd most points in the league, he still has a better than 50/50 shot. That's about 50% better than the Eagles chances of making the playoffs this year. 

Shots of Lame-O (Kevin Lawlor) - Playoff Chances:  46%.  Team MVP:  Fred Jackson.  Sure, FJax is on the IR now.  But without him, Lawlor is probably 4-8 instead of 6-6.  That's because he hitched his wagon to the "Dream Team" with Vick and Desean Jackson both bombing out this year.  And he's already in a big hole this week because he thought starting Vince Young was a good idea last night.  News flash:  the Eagles suck!

300 lb. Club (Gregg Williams) - Playoff Chances:  30%.  Team MVP:  Drew Brees.  Brees has had probably the quietest GREAT season of any QB I can remember.  All everyone talks about is Aaron Rodgers with a side dish of Tom Brady.  But Brees has matched them both pretty much all year.  The problem for Gregg is that he also starts Marques Colston, Mark Ingram, Jimmy Graham, Sean Payton and the Saints waterboy.  Lots of eggs in one basket.

Multiple Scoregasms (Erik Novak) - Playoff Chances:  20%.  Team MVP:  Tom Brady.  His only other players over 100 points scored are Darren Sproles and Percy Harvin...both guys I traded to him!  It's a minor miracle this guy still has a chance after his horrific draft.  Not only did I give him Sproles/Harvin, but I spoon-fed this d-bag a win last week to keep him breathing and put my team on the ropes.  But don't worry, I'm not bitter.

MIKE!!!DYKE!!! (Mike McCarthy) - Playoff Chances:  0%.  Team MVP:  LeSean McCoy.  McCoy is a stud.  I hate to say that about a Philadelphia Eagle, Pitt Panther and Bishop McDevitt Crusader, but he is.  By the way, could there be a worse combo of HS-NCAA-NFL teams for one player?!?  Mike is upset that he won't finish last this year.  Keep your bald head up Mike, you still have a chance!

REX-N-EFFECT (Chris Ott) - Playoff Chances:  0%.  Team MVP:  Peyton Manning.  Why Manning?  Because he gives Ott an excuse to blame his pathetic season on!  Maybe co-MVPs for Manning and Andre Johnson?  Lots of injuries for Ott, who is the definition of a one-hit wonder in this league.  1 championship and 5 losing seasons. 

My Playoff Predictions:

(1) Start Talkin DYNASTY v. (4) Bo Knows...WINNING!!
(2) Colin v. (3) Touch Me N' I'll Suh

I think DYNASTY will handle WINNING.  And I'm not going down without a fight.  So I'm predicting a rematch of last year's championship game.

Start Talkin DYNASTY v. Touch Me N' I'll Suh

And hey, it doesn't take a genious to know who wins this one:  Start Talkin DYNASTY and Brad Duppstadt with his 3rd Championship!

Championships for me?  That'd be 0.     

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